Friday, July 11, 2008

Secret News

Okay. I know I'm two weeks late on this, and postings of just a paste are lame, but oh well. Hopefully, if you're reading this, you're the kind of person who forgives a person like me for being lame sometimes.

When George Carlin died last month, Terry Gross played old interviews with him on Fresh Air. The end of the interview was a reading of The Secret News from his book, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Without permission, here it is. I love it:

The Secret News
Good Evening ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the secret news.
Sshh.
Here’s the secret news:
All people are afraid.
No one knows what they’re doing.
Everything is getting worse.
Some people deserve to die.
Your money is worthless.
No one is properly dressed.
At least one of your children will disappoint you.
The system is rigged.
Your house will never be completely clean.
All teachers are incompetent.
There are people who really dislike you.
Nothing is as good as it seems.
Things don’t last.
No one is paying attention.
The country is dying.
God doesn’t care.
Sshh

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